Precious little girl. Brilliant, gifted, and tormented. Tormented even when she wore a smile to conceal her pain. Precious, hurting little girl, hiding behind the mask of a superstar. Tormented by the family secrets she was forced to carry. Family secrets so horrific that, who would believe her anyway? She covered them up well – or did she?

She went on to have a successful career, and she blessed many. Yet, she struggled with alcohol dependence, food addiction and obesity. She endured domestic violence but had to smile in front of the world. I wonder if she struggled with anxiety and depression. I wonder how many nights she cried herself to sleep. Did she consider suicide? Did she have a safe space to tell her story? Children who lose a parent during childhood are at increased risk of depression as adults.

She lost her mom before the age of ten. She was a mother at 12 and 14. Was she the victim of sexual abuse? Most young girls who become pregnant as teens are impregnated by older men. Did she repeatedly reenact the trauma that was perpetuated on her? Trauma victims reenact the trauma that was perpetuated on them, or they try to bury it deep within. To numb their pain, they may choose multiple sexual partners. They eat and eat and eat, until their bodies become a protective fortress. Or, they may abuse drugs and alcohol or live a reckless lifestyle. Victims of trauma learn to protect themselves, because they quickly learn that very few people will risk protecting them.

Who was there to protect her? Who was her community? Did they join her in perpetuating the secrets? Did anyone see her pain? Or, were they so wrapped up in denying their own? So much secrecy, so much pain. And unfortunately, so much silence…

So much silence that the secrets continue.

How many more precious, brilliant children? How many more of them struggle with an abiding sadness, anxiety, and shame that refuse to go away? How many precious wounded children live lives suffering in silence and secrecy, yet, their pain and addictions speak for them?

How many families, and communities, are remaining silent in the face of such dark secrets? Far too many are suffering. The trauma that may have begun during childhood, resurrects itself in adulthood in many ways. Epidemics of alcohol and substance abuse. Promiscuity, obesity and other eating disorders. How many more broken relationships? How much more depression and suicide?

Can we as a society look deeply and see? Will we choose to see? From generation to generation, the secrets continue. Wake up and see. Cry out on behalf of those who are hidden in plain sight before us.

Our beautiful, brilliant girl has now gone home. But far too many remain.

Rest now, beautiful girl. You were wounded in this life, but you pressed on. Rest in peace. You were a precious gift to humanity.

You still are…